Never enough time in the day

The boys are six days old!  It's so hard to believe that it's been 16 days since this all began and 6 since I had them.  The time has passed in such a blur.

I'm really struggling with the fact that there just is never enough time in the day.  Between pumping every three hours, sleeping, eating, and seeing the boys I feel like something has to be sacrificed.  Sleep remains it, although I'm trying to be better.  Yesterday I bought a hands free pumping bra and that has already been a fantastic purchase.  It's seriously the best thing I've bought this year, probably in several years.  That means Andy is now getting mostly full nights of sleep.  I know if he could pump instead of me he gladly would, but he can't.

Today we had a little scare with my blood pressure.  My feet began to swell a little on saturday and yesterday it surpassed the swelling after my lap.  My OB's nurse had me go to the grocery store to check my blood pressure and it was elevated (for me) to 125/85.  I got very little sleep last night and this morning my feet were even more swollen.  We went upstairs and sat with the boys for about an hour waiting for the doctors and the entire care team to do rounds.  The boys are continuing to do well, thank goodness.

When we got back to the room I didn't feel well.  My head was hurting, I felt a weird pain in my stomach, and my chest felt a little pressure.  We went back to the grocery store and my blood pressure was elevated to 143/85.  I called my OB and we got in immediately.  Oddly enough my blood pressure in office was much closer to normal, even though it was taken only about 20 minutes later.  I don't have protein in my urine and I'm waiting to hear back about my labs that were drawn.  For now the OB thinks I'm just exhausted and hormonal, the swelling is probably within the normal ranges.  I was instructed to lay flat as much as possible in the next few days to help reduce the swelling.  This of course cuts into my time that I get to spend with Jacen and Spencer, but I'm going to try to focus on getting sleep in between pumpings.

If all goes according to plan we should get to start kangaroo care on friday, so I want to make sure I'm as healthy as possible.  That will begin the time that really matters with our visits.  But every second matters to me, even now.  I need to bond with my babies and to know that they're okay.  Someone can tell me a million times that they are but I won't truly feel it until I see for myself.

This sucks.