Moments

With twins it's so easy to get caught up in the moment and forget to look at the big picture.  Tonight I caught myself doing something I have sworn I would try never to do.  I was taking for granted how truly blessed I am.

 Picture this scene:  Mom has been at work all day, at a job she doesn't particularly enjoy.  Her brain is tired.  She's greeted by her loving husband telling her its been a more challenging day, and the boys are whining.  They continue to whine, and cry, and pull eachother's hair.  Getting them changed is like trying to fit a two legged diaper on an octopus.  They cry, mom cries.  Tears all around!

Yeah, it was one of those days.  I was so frustrated with the crying, even though I know right now that's the only way they have to voice their displeasure.  We're in the middle of teething hell, Spencer just cut is first tooth and is working on the second, and Jacen is working on his first.  None of us have slept through the night in awhile, which certainly doesn't improve my frustration tolerance.

I was crying to Jacen, "I can't wait until you can tell me what's wrong!", when it dawned on me that I was taking today for granted.  After everything we have gone through, I was taking that moment for granted.  With that realization I instantly felt a wave of relief.  I looked right at Jacen and told him, "It's okay, go ahead and cry.  I love you no matter what.  I'll happily take a million of these difficult moments versus even one without you.".

I won't lie, Jacen kept on crying and so did Spencer.  But I stopped, I calmed down, I enjoyed my time with them.  Tonight their bedtime story was My Love Will Find You.  I had a hard time making it through because I was truly cherishing the moment.  I had two perfect boys staring at me, soaking up every word.  That is a picture I'm going to try to hold in my mind whenever things are difficult and I need to look at the big picture.  I don't want to take a single second of this for granted.