I woke up to bright red blood this morning. It's Saturday so I'm probably going to have to suffer the unknown until Monday. But bleeding has never been good for me. I'm having flashbacks to our first loss, having to lay in the shower while the worst of it happened. I don't want another D&C, but I prefer it to miscarrying on my own. At least then I could know if this precious baby is a boy or girl and WHY the fuck this happened. God, I know you have a plan but I really don't know why breaking our hearts is part of it.
I fully realize I shouldn't jump to thinking I'm miscarrying, but it's self preservation. This was all too good to be true. People like us don't get to be infertility cliches. We were blessed doubly once before and apparently that's it for us.
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