Stay at Home Dad(SAHD) Adventures: Big small babies.

*Cough**Cough* I hear coming from Jacen's pack 'n play. I bolt to the side of his napper with Spencer in my arms nearly dropping his bottle with half his meal left in it. "Just kidding!" Jacen says with his hungry eyes as he continues on with his happy baby day. Meanwhile, Spencer has passed out before I can get back to the couch and resume his feeding. I know Jacen marks this as a sibling victory by keeping his little brother just that, little.

("Just kidding!")

The boys are by no means small in Melissa and my eyes. On the contrary, they are ginormous! Probably pushing nine, maybe nine and a half pounds at this point, they have come a long way from 2lb13oz(Jacen) and 3lb3oz(Spencer). Yes, Jacen is now the older and bigger brother, and he won't let Spencer forget it. I understand why Melissa gets cross-hairs in her pupils targeting everyone who has the nerve to call our boys small, but fair is fair, they are babies, and babies are small. That won't keep her from flat out correcting anyone who dares use the "S" word on our big boys, though.

("Dang! I look good and big.")

First month stuff

We have now been home from the NICU for three and a half weeks.  Time has flown by!  Today they are 12 weeks old.  It's amazing that our tiny little miracles are now nearly 8lb chunky monkeys!

On a few of the multiples boards I frequent I often see people asking what items are necessary for when the babies are first home.  I thought I would write a blog detailing what we have found to be indispensable.  In no particular order:

1. Graco pack n play with reversible napper/changing table: We bought two of these and this is where our boys sleep.  The change from napper to changing table is super quick and easy to do one handed.  The boys seem to enjoy sleeping in the napper.  We keep extra diapers, wipes, bibs, burp blankets, lotion, pacifiers etc within the actual pack n play area.

2. Receiving blankets: Since our boys came home at just over 6lbs and were not able to use the swaddles right away.  These worked great for swaddling them and keeping them warm.  Now we use one for Spencer since a burp cloth is way too tiny to contain his spit up (although his reflux is greatly improved on medicine now).

3. Gerber and Just One You by Carters onesies: These two brands run thin and short so it's been perfect for our boys.  Although I just bought some in 0-3month size and I think they'll outgrow them in another week or two at the most!

4. Gerber 0-6 month hats: Our boys have quickly outgrown newborn hats from other brands but 3 month hats are way too big.  The Gerber's fit perfectly since you can fold up the brim if needed.

5. Nosefrida and Little Noses Saline: We came home with bulb syringes and they work okay.  Several women online had recommended this "snot sucker" so I ordered it through Amazon.  When I received it I was very skeptical and Andy just rolled his eyes.  But it is seriously a miracle worker!  Jacen was incredibly snorty and congested one night so I finally decided to try it.  Let's just say that I will be buying one of these as a gift for every baby shower I attend from now on.

6. Bounty paper towels:  We use them for everything from pee guard, make shift bib, napkin, spitup wiper etc.  We joke that we need to buy stock in Bounty.

7. Swaddles: Once our boys hit 7lbs these have been great.  With the receiving blankets they were always busting out and their toes would get very cold.  With the swaddle that doesn't happen.  Most of the time we swaddle them with their arms out.

8. Amazon Mom's membership: You get free two day shipping on the majority of items, a discount on diapers and wipes, discounted overnight shipping etc.  I have been able to get our diapers for $0.17 each instead of the $0.28 cheapest option I've found in store.  Plus they deliver!  Since we currently go through 20 diapers a day that difference in price really adds up quickly.

9. Dr.Brown's formula mixing pitcher:  We use this to fortify breastmilk as well as mix formula.  It mixes it incredibly well so that there are no chunks left.

10. Skip Hop Duo Deluxe Diaper bag: I am seriously not a purse girl.  I don't much care what it looks like as long as it functions for what I need.  But I love my diaper bag!  It's cute but not too girly so Andy doesn't mind holding it if need be.  It easily fits several extra diapers, wipes, onesies, hats, receiving blankets, bottles, changing pad etc.  It also easily attaches to our stroller so when we're out I don't have to have it weighing down my shoulder.

I'm sure there are other items but these are my favorites right now.

Appointments out the wazoo

I'm not quite sure what a wazoo is, but we have had so many appointments this week!  We're feeling a bit run down and are really looking forward to a Saturday with zero plans.

On monday we got to have lunch with a dear friend and her husband.  I met her on an online loss support board over a year ago and she just moved to town.  She is due with a little girl in July and I am so excited to have a mommy friend close by!  She was just as sweet in person as I knew she would be and her husband was great too.  We really enjoyed getting out and having lunch with them.  I think it was the highlight of my week!  She even brought me some of her famous whoopie pies.  I had never had one before but they were absolutely delicious!

After lunch the boys had their eye appointment.  It went really well and they won't need to be seen again until they are 9 months old.  At that point they'll likely be completely released until they're school age.  Since every single member of both sides of our family wear glasses/contacts I'm sure they are destined to as well.  But I'm so glad they don't have any vision problems related to their prematurity.

Tuesday was our one non busy day.  We relaxed and then were lucky enough to have another friend come visit.  She snuggled the boys with me and even brought us food.  We are very blessed to have her in our lives.  I can't wait until she visits again!

Wednesday was the first ECI visit.  On their scale Jacen was up to 7lbs7oz and Spencer was 7lbs5oz.  Growing boys!  They both qualify for twice monthly physical therapy because they prefer turning their heads to the right.  Both have tightening of the neck muscles.  So the therapy will work on loosening them and teaching us what we can do to help.  Spencer will also get assistance in coping with his surroundings.  The evaluator thinks that he gets easily stressed out.  I'm not sure we 100% agree he's as bad as she thought, but there is a difference between how Jacen and Spencer interact with their environments when not in their comfort zone.

On Thursday we were lucky enough to have a newborn (even though they're technically 11 weeks old!) photo shoot with Hillarry at Silver Bee Photography.  She was looking to add more twins to her portfolio so we were able to get a free photo shoot and will get 10 complimentary photos.  She has the patience of a saint!  The entire shoot took about four hours but it was very relaxed and calm.  Interestingly enough she uses an audio recording of a vacuum cleaner to help calm the babies.  It worked like a charm!  I can't wait to see the final images.  I'm sure it will be very difficult to choose only ten.

Today did not turn out the way we had planned.  Spencer's spit up has turned into full scale projectile vomiting on a regular basis after feeding.  So today we had a pediatrician visit to discuss reflux.  Due to the severity I described they wanted us to immediately head in for an ultrasound and barium study of his stomach.  The doctor cautioned that he might have pyloric hypertrophy and require surgery.  I was very freaked out but I tried to keep calm.  We had been scheduled to go to a prematurity clinic but we had to cancel the appointment.  Thankfully he "just" has severe reflux.  The pyloric area did show a spasm so we will be watching him closely but at this point surgery is in no way indicated.  In 30 minutes he will start his first dose of Prilosec.  We are hoping it works quickly and he starts to feel better soon!  But we have been cautioned that it can take up to two weeks to see a real difference.

Zoe had her surgery on wednesday and is doing well.  She had to have a drain placed due to some extra swelling and is on quite a few medications.  My mom is taking care of her at least through the weekend, which I am so thankful for.  But I miss her so much!  I can't wait to have the whole family reunited again.

Thankfully next week should be much more relaxed and calm.  Did I really just write calm when we have twin boys?

Meal Train

If there are two things new parents need, it would be food and contact from the outside world, and our church is providing both through a program called a "Meal Train". I'm pretty sure that's what it's called. I've seen plenty of meals but not many trains, unless they mean the meals generously coming one after another are like cars on a train. In that case, I have seen and eaten a very tasty train.

Melissa and I had heard about the program on different occasions while we were at church on Sundays, but we never inquired further. We figured we didn't know people well enough to bring food to their house in their times of need, but we've come to realize it's at those times when a semi-stranger's generosity is needed and appreciated most.

We have been so blessed to already have four deliveries of food brought to our front door by members of our church who we would maybe see once a week, shake their hands, and say good morning. This program definitely creates bonds between people who would otherwise just be acquaintances. How can you not invite someone inside and get to know them better when they just brought enough delicious food for multiple meals?

As new parents, this is among the greatest ideas we've ever been blessed to be a part of, and we can't wait to participate in future Meal Trains for other members of our family at our church of worship.

Happy father's day!

Andy,

When I met you nearly eight years ago you were a bored skater boy. I use the term boy because that is honestly what you were. You had no purpose and no direction in life and were just out to have fun. When we began to date I quickly saw you mature and grow. You have always said that you knew I was the one for you and you put forth so much effort to make sure I knew it.

I have been honored to watch you grow into the man you are today. You are a loving husband, a great friend, and an incredible father. Our boys are so lucky that you are their dad. Not every man wants to stay home and help raise their children. But you have jumped into the task not only willingly but gladly. I know our boys will be in very capable hands when I have to return to work next month.

We have been thrown so many curve balls on our journey to become parents but now I couldn't imagine it any other way. Happy father's day!

Due date

Today is my official due date.  With twins we knew we would deliver a few weeks early, but of course we never imagined it would be ten and a half weeks early.  I'm so excited that tomorrow we get to start counting by adjusted age instead of gestational.

The past week has rushed by in a whirlwind.  Life flies by when you're living in three hour increments and at the mercy of two little boys!  Jacen and Spencer are doing great and seem to be thriving at home.  Andy and I are doing well too.  We're both able to relax more, although sleep is a hot commodity that isn't readily available.  We have a nice system worked out that helps ease frustration, mostly.

I also have been able to pump enough to continue feeding the boys fortified breast milk at every feeding.  My supply has lowered enough that within the next day or two for sure they will begin getting more formula.  I'm currently still pumping after every feed, which is eight times a day, but my time is now reduced to 20 minutes.  I'm hoping to get down to 15 within the next week and then maybe eliminate a session or two.  Ideally I would still be able to give the boys some breast milk every day for as long as possible while also remaining sane.  I think if/once my milk totally dries up my freezer stash would get us through a week and a half of the boys getting one bottle of fortified breast milk a day.

Today is the first time I've been alone with the boys for any big span of time.  My mom was supposed to come help watch them while Andy went fishing, but she unfortunately has food poisoning.  So it's just the boys and I today!  I was nervous but it's been enjoyable.  I will definitely need a nap when Andy gets home though!

Tomorrow is our first father's day as a family, I'm very excited to celebrate the wonderful men in my life.  On Monday we're having lunch with a friend and then taking the boys to an eye appointment.  On Tuesday another friend is coming over in the evening.  On Wednesday they have their first Early Childhood Intervention (ECI) evaluation.  Finally on Friday they have their first visit a another early intervention clinic.  I'm looking forward to the evaluations to find out if there is anything we need to work on.  I personally think my boys are brilliant little rock stars but it will be comforting to know that others hopefully agree.  Due to their prematurity they will be followed very closely for at least the first year to make sure no developmental milestones are missed.  I'm thankful programs like these exist.

Tomorrow I have a special post planned, including a new picture!

Weaning from the pump

I hope writing this will be cathartic for me.  I really need a cathartic release to make me be fully happy with this decision.  Although in reality there wasn't much to decide.

With the help of Andy I have decided to wean off the pump and give up on my dreams of breastfeeding the boys.  The reality is that in order to barely pump enough for them, if even, I have been tied to a hospital grade pump for 4.5 hours a day for nearly ten weeks.  I've also been taking supplements every six hours for several weeks.  Now that they're home that is 4.5 hours I can spend snuggling with them or sleeping.  It's a schedule that will be absolutely impossible to maintain once I return to work in five weeks.  If I was able to try to exclusively breastfeed now I would, but I can't.  Since their weight gain hasn't been the greatest we have had to fortify my milk with neosure.  The pediatrician said that if their weight gain was good this Wednesday we could decrease the calories and if in two more weeks it's still good we could switch to exclusive breast milk. The reality is that that would give us just a little over two weeks to establish good breastfeeding before I have to return to work on July 16.  That's highly unlikely to happen even if my supply maintained itself.

I have already slowly started the weaning process.  I dropped down for eight 30 minute pumps to eight 25 minutes sessions.  Tuesday I will drop to 20 minutes for a few days.  It is just so incredibly difficult to give up on this.  It makes me feel like my body is failing us yet again and it's another thing to mourn the loss of.  I know that breastmilk is what is best, but I also know that a happy mommy equals a happy baby.  I just wish my body had worked right and this wouldn't have to be the decision I need to make.  But I am very proud that I have made it as long as I have.  The boy's official due date is this coming Saturday so on Sunday we finally get to start counting adjusted age.  I should have enough milk to get them to that point, if not beyond.  That is something to be proud of, I know.

We are settling in to somewhat of a routine with the boys.  They eat every three hours, pretty much on the dot.  Jacen usually lets us know when it's time.  If they're awake afterward we let them play on their activity mat or read and sing to them.  We need to be more diligent about tummy time, we're remembering to do it about once a day.  Although we snuggle the boys with them on our chest frequently and I know that counts too.  Today we made our first real venture into the great big world of germs.  We went to Target to pick up some essentials.  The boys and Andy did great, I was a bit of a worried mess.  Andy said I hid it well since he thought I did fine.  It did give me confidence to try taking them somewhere else sometime soon.

Their next pediatrician appointment is on Wednesday and they have an eye appointment the following monday.  I'm excited to finally meet one of my online friends that day.  She moved to our city over a month ago and we haven't had a chance to meet up yet.  She's due with a sweet little girl in July so I'm very excited to have a mommy friend!

Over all things are going wonderfully, we are so incredibly blessed and thankful.  Maybe one of these days I can get Andy to finally write another post.